I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
