You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Randomize
