I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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