I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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