Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize