You're earring is so big in my mouth
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
