Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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