the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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