worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
