it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize