i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
