Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
