I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
