I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
