Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
