he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
