I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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