Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
send nudes
from the living room?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
