considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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