All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
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