Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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