I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
