Don't you send me to vm
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
