D3 body, D1 cock
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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