Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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