we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Dicks are not precious.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
