marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You made out with two different species that night
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
