So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize