I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
