that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
