He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
