marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
