I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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