at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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