We're facebook friends in real life
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
