The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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