That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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