have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
