I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize