We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
