hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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