I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
