He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize