oh god the rape fog is back!
grandma shit on top of the toilet
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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