I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
That reminds me...we need to get swords
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
