Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
