we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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