i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
