Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
