That's intense
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
