it was like his penis was on wheels.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
