I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize