summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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