If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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