How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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