Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
