I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
