I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
