How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I pour the whiskey from now on
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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