You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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