if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
