I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
