Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
