i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
