I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
