so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
