I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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